Alexa Bryn

Days like today..

2011-07-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

It is days like today that I know my Father in Heaven not only loves me, but knows me individually, and though there are 7 billion others on this earth, each and every day he is watching over and guiding me, just me, to where I need to go, what I need to do, and specifically this morning, what I need to read...

I woke up early this morning to work out with Christian. I LOVE my morning work outs with him, it's the time that I can just let him tell me what to do, and know that he will only push me as far as he knows I can go, but that he will, in fact push me. They allow me to spend precious time with my husband, they make me feel good about myself, like I can tackle whatever the day throws my way...but some days, no matter what I tell myself, it doesn't feel like enough--I'm only human. Today was one of those days. I've literally worked my butt off this week, I've been to the gym everyday, and I know it is doing good things for me. Plus, for the first time in my life I enjoy, and look forward to sweating and working hard. But today,even though I was having fun with Babe, as I watched myself do squats on the bosu ball in the mirror, I just wasn't very happy with my body,I could see all of it's imperfections, the little things I would want to be different, and I just felt yucky.So, I went home, ate a healthy breakfast, got myself ready and came into work. One of the first things I always do is check my blogs (hey, I follow some aweeeesome people!), if nothing else, they are good reads, but sometimes I find things in them that make my soul happy. Today, I hit the jackpot. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I LOVE Cjane. I read her post, and then followed a link to an article she wrote that I think every woman should read...including you!

"

Like some women . . . not all women . . . but a healthy number of women . . . or maybe an unhealthy number of women . . . I was obsessed with my weight. I measured quarter inches, weighed ounces, exercised and denied myself until there was nothing left to deny. I thought about my weight, my body, my image until it crowded out all other concerns. I knew if I were thin there would be nothing left I could ever want.

That was where I was three years ago.

Then something happened, a baby. Then another something happened, another baby. Then another, another something happened, a pregnancy which will hopefully result in baby three in the late fall.

I don't obsess anymore.

It's not like I've worked through my issues and suddenly I understand the glory of a women's body. I mean, there are moments spent day-dreaming of the time when my body stops fluctuating to accommodate gestating or milk-drinking humans and my body is mine to deny again. But those idealistic moments are fleeting because there's cheese to slice for grilled cheese sandwiches or shoes to tie or sleep to catch. I simply don't have time to think much about my body--how it looks, how it sways, how it appeals-- although sometimes my husband reminds me. You know, in that gratuitous--look at how big your chest is getting!--excited sort of way.

And when I exercise it's really for clearing my mind. It's to allow my spirit to breathe. I am sure it helps my cardiovascular system, I just don't think about it much. I love the wisdom in this: Care not for the body, neither for the life of the body. But care for the soul, and the life of the soul.*

I think the soul is the spirit plus the body. A healthy spirit will build a healthy body. But focusing alone on the body will destroy the spirit.

Mostly, I wake up, put on my house dress and work until the day is done. And when the work is done (it's never done) and the day is over I look at my body and thank it for being so accommodating. At the end of the day that is all I can ask of it. It was never meant to fulfill day dreams of perfection. It wasn't created for attraction alone. It was meant to do what I needed it to do. And it does.

As a testament to this, I often remind myself: I've never been so fulfilled--even forty pounds ago.

Doctrine & Covenants 101:37"

Since I can remember my Dad has told me about balance. When I heard this as a teenager all I could think was blah,blah,blah...but now, I think I am beginning to understand it. My body does what it needs to do, and more. I am grateful for it. I know that, some days, I just need some reminding, I think we all do.I think back to my days and weeks spent with Dr. Valantine (an amazing man), and all the lessons that he taught me about my spirit, and the power and control that we truly have over our thoughts, and the things that we choose to believe--it is a choice!! We can not make that choice to believe the lies that the adversary would have us believe. We can not allow his degradation of all that is womanhood to continue, he can not, and will not ever win when we know that we are in control.

So, here's to re-dedication, to focusing on the soul, on a healthy spirit, and allowing that strong spirit to create and strengthen that beautiful, healthy body that we have been blessed with. Certainly we do not want to destroy our spirits by focusing only on our bodies. I know that my body is strongest when my spirit is the strongest. I know it, I know it, I KNOW it!

Soooooo long Tay Tay!!

2011-06-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I tried to write this blog yesterday. In fact, I did, and it was long and perfectly worded and you all would have loveeeed it...BUT, when I went to post it i got a lameee message that told me the link was broken. What are the odds!! So, let's try again...

My whole life-minus 15 months- I've spent with my little sister. Even when we didn't get along, I always knew that when it came down to it, she would always love and protect me from anything. I knew from the beginning that it was not going to be easy to say goodbye to her, but last Wednesday that is exactly what I set out to do.
PAUSE...REWIND....
Sunday was Taylor's farewell. The WHOLE family, along with pretty much everyone she has ever met, went to sacrament meeting at the YSA ward. The first speeker was Justin Wait, who was also going to enter the MTC that Wednesday. He gave a really good talk about the Book of Mormon, and welcomed the spirit into the chapel. After his talk, we -taylor,kara,delaney, me, rachel, and jane-got up to sing. We sang a medley of Teach me to Walk and Love one Another, it is truly one of my favorite songs that I have ever heard, the way they compliment eachother, is beautiful. There were a few tears, and I was so glad that we were able to sing one last time with Taylor(wanna hear it? click here). Following our song, she gave her talk.She spoke about being a disciple of Christ. Every word she said, she said with conviction, and the more she talked, the more convinced I became that she was on her way to do what she was meant to do, to be a missionary, to teach the people of Texas,and to bring them the gospel.She ended her talk with her testimony in song. She sang a song called "With all of my heart," and I don't believe there was a dry eye in the chapel. It was asolutely amazing. The spirit in that room was SO strong, I could feel it in the very deepest part of my heart. My sweet little sister has the strongest testimony, and not only am I proud of her, but I am proud that Heavenly Father trusted me to come to this earth and be her big sister, she has taught me more than I could ever begin to describe, and I am grateful every single day for her presence in my life.
Following Sacrament meeting, the Wilson side of the family came over to my dad's house for a father's day/Taylor's day celebration. We barbequed and enjoyed eachother's company until President Wilkinsen and his wife came over to set Taylor apart. Before he did so, he talked to her about being a representative of our Savior while she is on her mission, and the things he wants her to remember as she leaves and when it is time to come home. He then asked a few people--grandma, grandpa, dad,kara,uncle larry, and bishop dunham-- to say whatever they had to say before she left. It was definitely an emotional time (right, auntie kyle?) and it was a time I don't think that the people in the room will forget it anytime soon. After that we all sang a couple songs with Stephy playing the piano, and then most people left. For the rest of the night, there were poeple coming and going and lots and lots of "see you laters." We were supposed to leave late Sunday night, buuuut people didn't leave until almost 1 a.m. so we all decided it would be best to sleep for a few hours before we started our drive.
We ended up leaving at 5:30 Monday morning. Dad drove most of the way.We stopped in Vegas and a couple other times to stretch, but overall the drive wasn't bad at all (I took lots of naps :)...

We arrived in Orem at around 3:30, got ready and headed to Cafe Rio for dinner (my favvvvvvv) and then sweet dessert at Sub Zero (also my favvvvvv). We were all pretty tired [it's strange how sitting in a car can make you so exhausted], so we didn't do anything else that night, but Taylor, Tucker, and I were up early the Tuesday morning to head to the Salt Lake Temple, it was a wonderful experience, and I was so glad to share it with the two of them (in the short amount of time I was able to spend with Tucker, he became family pretty quick!). We did a session there, and then hurried back to pick up Dad and Delaney. They didn't have any food in the house so they were starving and we headed to Smash Burger-okayyy so we did a lot of eating out, don't judge!-and then to the University mall so that Tay could get a few things. From there we headed back up to Temple Square, we we met up with Danielle :) walked around the visitor's center, and took a tour of the Conference Center. I was amazed by it's size, by the art in that adorned the walls, and the massive meadow, yes, meadow on the roof!

picture of the temple taken from the roof of the conference center

When we left Temple Square we went to dinner with Krissy, Hayley, and Robbie at Cafe Normandy. Dinner was d-e-licious, and the time we were able to spend just hanging out with Krissy and her family afterward was exactly what Taylor needed. I think it was good for her to be able to just be around people that she cares about instead of trying to see everyone she's ever known in Utah the night before she leaves. We got back to Grandma Sherry's house pretty late, and a couple of her good friends came over to say goodbye.

By the time I woke up Wednesday morning, Taylor and my Dad had already left to Target to get her last few little things that she needed to take with her that day. They got back just in time for everyone to get ready and head to Cafe Rio again, to meet up with Garrett and Regan so that they could see her off.... and then we headed to the MTC.

First thing first...The iPhone handoff...

Then as we pulled up to the curb, a couple of missionaries came out and grabbed her luggage, and we all got out to say a very quick goodbye...

...Daddy, "brother"Tucker, little Laney, and Me...

And then we left her there...

The drive back was a little more difficult than the way there. At one point we heard a sniffle, and Tucker looked back and me and then at Delaney, and asked if she was crying (she swears she never cries). Sure enough, under Tucker's light blue raybans, her little eyes were full of tears. I laid my head on her lap, held her hand, and triend to fall asleep. This is going to be the next 18 months of my life. Hanging out with sweet Delaney and Tucker (and BABE!!!) and though it will be hard at times,I know that she is on the lord's errand and that she will be blessed. I am looking forward to hearing her stories, and to feeling her love of the Savior through her service and her letters.
We listened to Disney pandora for a long time from a little outside of Vegas all the way to about Barstow, and we all sang along. We didn't sleep as much as the first drive either. From St. George all the way to almost Riverside, everyone was awake. I drove from St. George to Barstow, and we made it home a little before midnight. Dad helped me get my bags, Tucker promised we'd hang out soon, and I hurried inside to see Babe! {it was a great trip but I truly had missed him TERRIBLY!}
I am so proud of both of my sisters, and I am greatly looking forward to the day when we do the whole thing over again with Ashy!

GRAND AMERICA 2011!! hahah

Sweet Sisters

2011-05-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

My sweet sisters are leaving me. They've both chosen to go on missions for our church, and I could not be more proud to be their big sister. Taylor will be serving in Lubbock, Texas and she will report to the Missionary Training Center in Provo on June 22nd. Ashy Bee's call should be here this week *fingers crossed*. I can't wait to see where she is going. I know that they will both be amazing missionaries, and that their testimonies of the Gospel of Jesus Christ will change the lives of the people they meet.
My other sweet sister Delaney is getting so big. She's 14 now, and will be starting high school in the fall. I'm sure that it will be scary for her without two of her sisters, but I also know that she will be blessed and bouyed up by their service, and I know that she is the smartest of us all. Her little spirit is SO strong, she stands up for what she believes in, and won't let anybody tell her otherwise.

I love my sisters, I'm so glad that Heavenly Father sent them to be part of this journey with me...I couldn't imagine it any other way.

In the News

2011-05-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

There are some days in your life that you never forget. There are images that your mind holds onto long after they are seen. I remember being in eighth grade, I remember I was getting ready for school and curling my hair when my dad called us girls into the living room to see what was on the television, just as the second plane hit the second tower...

I remember the reports...

I remember being sad, and I remember being afraid. And then, I remember the country coming together, I remember that no matter who you were, regardless of color, economic status, or religion, you were an american, and you were proud.We celebrated the heroes of that day, and we mourned those that were lost. We supported their families and eachother. We stood united, and refused to let those that sought to defile and hurt our countryman ruin our resolve. I say we like I had some big thing to do with everyone else in the country, but that's how it felt....We declared war the man/organization who were responsibe for the travesty and the loss of our people, and the searched continued for almost 10 years.

As I got into bed on Sunday night, I heard the news-Osama Bin Laden was dead. I didn't quite know how to feel. It is strange to feel a sense of satisfaction or justification for the death of any one person, but this was a terribly evil man. He orchestrated many operations that led to the death of innocent people. I wonder what the ramifications will be, however at the same time I can not help but feel a small sense of hope, a feeling that those who lost loved ones in those attacks nearly ten years ago can now feel even a little relief. Though I can not celebrate death, I can look with hope toward the future...I can pray for our troops, for their families, and for the leaders of our country. I pray that we may be kept safe, and that we will all continue to be proud to be Americans...The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave.

Daughter of a King...

2011-04-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

sooooooo I didn't wake up before the break of dawn to watch the Royal Wedding, however, I DID watch it once I got to work. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL, Kate was gorgeous, and William's smile and the way he looked at his bride was absolutely adorable. You can tell that they are incredibly in love, and I am always, ALWAYS happy to see two people happy together!

BUT there was one big, and I mean BIG thing that was missing...I listened to the commentary, watched as the bride and groom arrived, the people cheered, and girls around the world saw Kate Middleton became Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge--a princess, and saw the ceremony that made it so, I couldn't help but notice how many "til death us do part"s there were in the words that the Archbiship said, and even in all that beauty it made me kind of sad. I couldn't help but think about the day Babe and I were married, and blessings of the temple, of the covenants that we are able to make there, the spirit that is felt, and the sealing power of the priesthood. There is no more sacred place to be than kneeling across the alter from the one you love, to hear the sealer talk about eternity, the eternity that you get to spend together, to look into those mirrors, and to see that eternity in them---

"temple mirrors—one mirror on this side, one mirror on that side. Together the temple mirrors reflect back and forth images that stretch seemingly into eternity.

Temple mirrors of eternity remind us that each human being has “divine nature and destiny”; that “sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally”; and that, growing together in love and faithfulness, we can give children roots and wings."

I also thought of this talk, "Your Happily Ever After" by President Uchtdorf, in which he reminds us that we are all daughters of a King, we are in fact,"beloved daughters of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.”Those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.” He tells us that our "once upon a time" is now, and that through faith in our Savior and following our father's plan, "the day will come when you turn the final pages of your own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: “And they lived happily ever after.”
I love Christian with all my heart, and each and everyday I pray for the spirits waiting up there in the spirit world to come to earth and recieve their bodies, especially for the ones that I will be blessed to nuture, teach, and show the way. Even as I sit here at my desk in my office, my eyes brim with tears, and my heart is full of love for them. Though I have never seen them, I know that they are there, and I know in the deepest depths of my soul that they are meant for me and my sweet, sweet husband, and I can not bear the thought even for a second that I could bring a child into this world, or look at the man I married, and not know for a fact that they will be with me forever--even after this life!
And THAT RIGHT THERE is why I am grateful for my Savior, for the knowledge and testimony I have of his Atonement, for this past weekend in which the entire Christian world reflected on and celebrated his resurrection. He died, and rose again, that we all might do the same, that we--along with our families, may return to live with him again, and for all eternity.

Okay Friends...

2011-03-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

My (and Jane's) little darlings got first place last Saturday at their Regional contest at Cal Poly Pamona...I got to sit in the room and keep time with one of the judges that we always dreaded in high school, and just thought that he was the most awful man on the planet (my kids think the same thing), BUT as soon as they-my team- left the room he turned to me and told me that I'd "done a great job with that team." Tanner and Conner rode home with me and Jane, and they are just as funny as can be. I love them, I really do. It's fun to be able to laugh with them and be able to help them to reach their potential, they really do have some serious potential-our goal is to make it at least past the first round of state. However, their first place win means that I now have to find a new Gavel for my dear, sweet chairmen, Christian...

Christian accepting their 1st place award!

I got to see sweet Danielle and her FIANCE the saturday before last...I was SO excited!! I really miss that girl, and I am SO happy for them to start this new part of their lives.

I love being married, I love my Husband, I love to say "husband," I love cooking dinner with him, waking up with him, and just getting to spend every second that I can with my best friend...it couldn't be better! I know I'm always saying that, everytime I post pretty much. I'm happy, and you should be too. Especially because General Conferance is this weekend, yaaayyyy!! I am excited to hear from the leaders of the church, to feel the spirit, and listen to their inspired messages, as they feed us what our Heavenly Father wants us to know so that we can be the best we can in this life, and return to live with him someday.

random thoughts/my body?

2011-03-10T10:28:00.000-08:00

a whole lot of randomness comin your way:

I got to spend some time this Saturday with a few of my favorite girls (Kayleigh, Janie, and Miss Joelle). Kayleigh and I got our hair done with JoJo at Envy and then we met Jane for lunch at Pizza Nova. I miss spending time with my girls, so it was nice to see them and enjoy their company![ and made me reeeaaalllyyyyy excited to see miss Danielle on the 19th :)] my hair underneath is now red-brown-violet, aka maroon and i LOVE it!
Jane and I are coaching Parli-Pro again this year, and it's wonderful! Well, wonderful in the sense that she and I have fun together, and we have a sharp team. The problem is that they know they are smart, and they know that they perform well under pressure...which reminds me a LITTLE (did you catch that sarcasm?) of us when we were in high school,except they don't have the know-how to back those big heads up! it'll be alright though, we're attempting to teach them everything we've got in our vast arsenal of knowledge, and if they pick up even half of it we should have a state level team on our hands

annndddd if we have a state level team...janie and i get to take a trip back up to state conference, oooohhhh the memories THAT will bring back!

Silly as it may be, I've been trying to find more "adult" clothes, not old lady clothes, but something nicer than my usual t-shirts to wear on a daily basis...it'll be a slow transition (clothes aren't free friends!) but i like what I've got so far and I'm excited

--TANGENT: I get my butt kicked on a regular basis by my hunky trainer of a husband. I'm still not losing weight (even though i've been trying my darndest to eat healthy like a good little girl), but after reading this post on C Jane, that began with this quote--“The body holds meaning. When we probe beneath the surface of our obsession with weight we will find a woman obsessed with her body is expressing a serious concern about the state of her soul.” (Kim Chernin, author of The Hungry Self: Women, Eating and Identity and The Obsession: Reflections on the Tyranny of Slenderness)-- I had what Miss O would call an "Aha moment" I realized that there is no reason to obsess over my weight. I am a strong, confident daughter of my Heavenly Father with Divine potential, fretting over things that are beyond my control will not fix them, but will, in fact, further complicate them, and put not only my sanity, but the state of my SOUL in jepardy. Now, I don't know about you, but that right there is not a risk I am willing to take. Don't get me wrong, I want to be healthy, I know that my body is a gift...afterall a whole 1/3 the hosts of heaven don't even get to have one, it's the whole reason that we are here on this earth-TO GET A BODY!! It is not, however, something that should bring me stress, discontent, or shame. It should bring nothing but JOY! That's the other reason we are here, right? To have JOY?! The two should go hand in hand. So, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing: eating healthy, but not starving myself, and allowing myself certain indulgences every so often [just not all the time]. I'm also going to continue working out with husband AND on my own when he can't be there. I'll get where I want to be, and in the interm, I'll be happy with what I've got :)

faith as a little child

2011-02-21T07:39:00.001-08:00

Last night I got to go with Babe to his sister's house so that he could help give his (our) sick little nephew a blessing. I watched as my brother-in-law explained to Isaac that they were going to bless him by the power of the holy melkezidac priesthood and that heavenly father was going to help him feel better. Then I listened. I listened as-- in spanish--my sweet husband put oil on his little head, and Marco blessed him with health, that his fever would break and that he would feel better. Though I will admit that I did not know the exact words that were being spoken, Tears bured in my eyes as I felt the spirit in that room, and in my heart I understood what was being said. I couldn't help but look forward to the day when Babe can do that for our children, he is going to be such an amazing daddy...someday.

And you know what...as we sat there, Isaac's fever broke and he felt well enough to play with us again.. the priesthood is a powerful thing, and the tender mercies of the Lord are undeniable when we are willing to see his hand in all things.

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better late than never

2011-02-08T14:04:00.000-08:00

christmas...

Sweet Katie and Ryan's Wedding....

we take pictures while we drive :)

my "twin" cousin steph!

yaaayyyyy for being married

best friends!

auntie kyle dancing with the kiddies

sweet sweet seeesters

First dance

2011-02-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

ooooh it's about that time In all the recent craziness, I completely forgot to tell you all about a special moment (or couple of moments) on the wedding day!!
Moment #1
My dear sweet daddy made a slide show of pictures of me and my maaaannnnnn from birth to now...it was beautiful. At one point I went to practice my little song with Taylor, and when I came out, Babe was sitting on the couch in front of the televison where it was playing, with tears in his eyes, on his face and as we walked out to the car together to get something he explained his very personal, incredibly sweet reasons for his tears. I was and continue each and every day to be in awe of him. I am so grateful that I married a man who is so comfortable with himself, and his feelings that he can do things like that.
Moment #2
Babe and I had our first dance to "Marry Me" by train, and it was wonderful. After that I had my dance with my Daddy. I picked the song "In My Arms" by Mark Wills. It's the perfect song for a Daddy-Daughter dance, and especially for me and my dad. He always tells me a story about when I was a little girl and he used to rock me to sleep and says "do you remember when you were little and I used to hold you in my arms..." and so as I'm sure you can imagine it was an emotional thing already, but toward the end of the song he pulled Christian back out onto the dance floor and had him dance with me again and said "these are your arms now."At which point, I of course began to cry....

I'll never, NEVER forget that moment...

...and it just keeps getting better!

Sweet Music

2011-02-01T09:39:00.001-08:00

A Constant Reminder

I would not feel right if I did not acknowledge what I experienced yesterday. Yesterday I witnessed the single most amazing memorial service I've ever been to. I've never seen such an outpouring of love for someone and their family. I was and continue to be in awe of the beauty of it all. The music was beautiful [Calee wrote the most beautiful song I've ever heard in tribute to her Mom and she and her sisters sounded like angels singing it! The Gray's played 'I know that my redeemer lives' and little Taelyn sang her sweet testimony loud and strong with 'I Am a child of God?'] Bishop Pat Moore and President Chuck Neilsen spoke about her life, and her faith, and her spirit and joy she put into everything she did was felt by everyone in attendance. At one point Bishop Moore asked all who had been in any kind if choir she directed to stand...it was amazing to watch a majority of the chapel and cultural hall stand. Rita truly put music in the hearts of all that she taught, and her influence will be felt far beyond the congregation that gathered yesterday. She will live on, as we continue to 'Sing for Rita'

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27-30 finally

2011-01-31T09:50:00.000-08:00

Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

This is me and my Katie girl after her baptism...a year and a half ago. SO much has changed since then. Pretty much my whole life [no joke!] and I REALLY could not ask for more than I have in this moment!!

Day 28 – Your favorite movie.

My Best Friend's Wedding
Knotting Hill
A Walk to Remember

Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.

I will never never never NEVER get tired of being with Christian. He is honestly the most amazing man that I have ever/will ever know and I am so blessed to be his wife!! I will never get tired of talking to him, laughing with him, or cuddling with him...corny corny corny, but so verrrry true!

Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past.

1. I got married the 18th of December 2010 to the most amazing man I've ever met and have since meeting Him been the happiest girl in the world!
2. I got to go through the temple on December 11th, I felt so much more peace than I ever thought possible
3. I was born into the most crazy, loving, and amazing family in the world, and I am blessed to know that I get to be with them forever!

Heaven was needing a hero like you

2011-01-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

I remember my Junior year in high school when the Schroeder family moved into our ward. It had only been our little group of friends for the last two years, so it was exciting to have two new girls to hang out with who were bundles of fun. But we quickly found out that we didn't just get two new friends, we got a new family! I had the opportunity to be in Rita's Teen Harmony group. I was constantly in awe of her knowledge of music, her perfect pitch, and her ability to make us all feel comfortable and excited each and every week, even the one when we all threw our music on the ground and said we didn't want to sing that particular song (I guess that's only to be expected from a group of 13-17 year old girls, especially when one of them is your daughter). I loved learning from her, and she taught me a lot, not just about music, but about life.
Because of my circumstances, I've had the opportunity to have a few women in my life that have been mother's to me, Rita was most definitely one of them. I remember sitting often in the living room with Brooke, and watching how she loved to push her mom's buttons, but how Rita reacted with a roll of her eyes, a laugh, and a whole lot of love, and I remember wishing on more than one occasion that I had a mom like her, or that SHE was my mom. In a time when I so needed to feel like I belonged somewhere, she always made me feel welcome in her home, she taught me what it meant to be a wife and a mother, she taught me what it meant to be a strong woman, not just through her words, but she showed me how, and I am and will forever be grateful for that.
She was also a teacher in our Young Women's class. Her testimony of the gospel, was evident in every word she spoke, and every story she told. She knew her Savior, and she helped each and every one of us girls to feel of his spirit, and find in us the desire to know him as she did. I know that my life has been blessed to have known her. I know that she will be forever in my heart, and that I will never be able to forget the lessons that I learned from her, her sweet voice, or the light and love she had for her girls, and her husband, for they are forever ingrained in my heart. She truly was one of my heroes...I guess heaven needed her more than we did.

Oh, it's kept me awake nights, wondering

I lie in the dark, just asking why

I've always been told

You won't be called home

Until it's your time

I guess heaven was needing a hero

Somebody just like you

Brave enough to stand up

For what you believe

And follow it through

When I try to make it make sense in my mind

The only conclusion I come to

Is heaven was needing a hero

Like you

I remember the last time I saw you

Oh, you held your head up proud

I laughed inside

When I saw how you were standing out in the crowd

Your such a part of who I am

Now that part will just be void

No matter how much I need you now

Heaven needed you more

Cause heaven was needing a hero

Somebody just like you

Brave enough to stand up

For what you believe

And follow it through

When I try to make it make sense in my mind

The only conclusion I come to

Is heaven was needing a hero

Like you

Is Heaven was needing a hero

and that's you

<3 I'm sure she'll be directing a chior of angels up there...but we'll sure miss her here. My thoughts and prayers are constantly with her family, I am so grateful for their examples, and grateful that they will have forever with their sweet mom and wife.

wife of the year?

2011-01-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

NOT!! last night Babe and I were cooking dinner, he was cooking the chicken and my job was the noodles...chicken helper noodles, you know, the kind you only have to add water and the package of seasoning to and it's all good, yeah, those kind. Turns out I'm pretty much the world's worst cook...I burnt the chicken helper noodles!! WHO FREAKIN DOES THAT haha no big deal though, we were able to salvage most of them, and just left the bit that was stuck to the bottom of the pan. On the flip side, somehow Babe thinks it's cute when I do stupid things like that, and it's a good thing, because I do them ALL THE TIME!

here's some honeymoon pics...

our first morning waking up in vegas

the Fashion Show Mall had a full on show in the middle that ran ever 2 hours!

probably one of the most amazing things I've ever seen
even though i was a liiiiitttttllleeeee hesitant at first

my "little boy" wanted to take a picture with the sphinx :)

we got married!!! ( not really, well, not here)

the lions at the MGM, canooodling

Babe's favorite color M&M is the green one, aparently she's the hottest

we spent most of our time here...

but managed to make it here too, it was absolutely WONDERFUL!!

Tonight is our Temple night and I'm SO EXCITED!! I'm also thinking we need to stop by sprinkles cupcakes afterwords, I've been absolutely dyyyyiinnnggg to have one :)

12-18-2010

2011-01-15T13:22:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't read enough about the wedding by now, here's the "official" post. Dec 18th I woke up at the crack of dawn (5 am to be exact) showered and then had my hair and makeup done by the lovely and talented Joelle Wood while my dearest Kayleigh Beth ran down stairs and brought us breakfast :) . Once I was ready Kara came to the hotel to help me get my dress and what not, and we headed to the temple. There in that holy place I had the amazing opportunity to kneel across the alter from Christian,surrounded by our friends and family, and to be sealed to him for time and all eternity. Our sealer was sweet and gave us some counsel and words of widsom, and when we were done I couldn't believe it was real, I couldn't believe that I truly get to be the woman by Christian's side for the rest of eternity, I was overwhelmed with gratitude, hope for the future, and pure love. Much of that love came from the incredible spirits of those who greeted us at the door on thier way out of the sealing room. Having my new family, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles,my older brothers, and friends that hold a place in my heart just as close as family present in that room, and to hear them express how proud they are, and see the happiness in their faces, just served to further my knowledge that I was with the right man, and that we had been married by the right authority, and at the right moment in our lives. My joy was indeed overwhelming.

After the sealing My sweet cousin Kara (who has done more for me than I could ever begin to thank her for) took me back to the bride's room, and we changed me into my wedding dress. I felt like a princess, like the most beautiful girl in the world, you know, the way every girl deserves to feel on her wedding day, THAT'S HOW I FELT. And then my escort for the day took me to meet my groom. He looked so handsome, and once again I couldn't believe that I was the luckiest girl in the world. That somehow, this man had picked me!!

Add caption

Theeeennnnnn we went out to meet our families, and took lots and lots of pictures!

I loooove this one...

The sisters!

To Be Continued...

Tomorrow

2010-12-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow. I'm getting married tomorrow!!!
I do believe that I am the happiest, luckiest, most ridiculously ecstatic girl in the whole world! Babe is the most amazing man that I know, and I still can't believe that he picked me. That he wants to be with ME!? Last Saturday I got to go through the temple for the first time. I have never in my life felt more peace or known with more surety that THAT very place is where our father in heaven wants us to be. Everyone had me all hyped up for it to be a strange experience, but I honestly didn't find anything strange about it. I loved every moment of it, and very much look forward to tomorrow when I will be surrounded by my closest friends and family, and to promise forever to my best friend. He really really is the sweetest...it's in the little things he does, the way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the way he talks to me and makes me feel like I can do anything I want to do, and that together we can do anything! I can't wait to be his wife :) 24 hours to this very moment!!!

days 21-26

2010-12-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

Day 21: A photo of something that makes you happy-

Day 22: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently-
To you who will not be named at the moment but people will certainly discover quickly,
I fully understand that you are not in the right state of mind, and haven't been for some time now. I understand that you don't have all your sh...crap together, and that you need to take care of yourself before you can possibly care about anyone else. In all honesty I am glad that you have not even mentioned my wedding to me because the last thing I want you to do is get involved. I don't want to hear you go on and on about how your little girl is getting married, nor do I want you to make a scene at any point in time on my big day. But in light of these things, please do not text me and tell me that you miss me. Please stop saying how much we mean to you. Words are just that, words. I have not seen any action behind them in the last 6 or 7 years, and if you don't plan on doing something about it, then I don't need the words either. thanks. OH, and please realize quickly that keeping little brother with you is not helping ANYone but your own conscience. Send him home.

the end.
Day 23: 15 Facts about you

I am engaged to be married to my BEST friend in 2 weeks!
I love my family SOOO much (that includes my future family, oh how i look forward to that!)
I love the gospel and it's teachings, I know that it is true with every fiber of my being
I'm teaching YSA Relief Society for the last time today and I have to admit I'm a little sad
I love my job. If I made a little more money I'd do it for the rest of my life.
I have 4 brother's in Utah that mean the world to me
I love the color purple
I can't wait to go to the temple this coming SATURDAY, I've waited my whole life for this moment
I love my Savior
I am a Daughter of my Heavenly Father with Divine qualities and attributes
I can be ridiculously silly,and I am... about 95% of the time
All I've ever wanted to be is a Mom
I'm a pretty freaking fun babysitter :) haha
I'm going to miss Delaney most when I move out, she's my friend
Despite being 30lbs heavier than my thinnest, I'm in the best shape of my life woohooo!

Day 24: Photo of something that means a lot to you-

Day 25: What is in your purse-

wallet
red planner
journal
rubber bands
tampons haha
a couple pens
lip gloss
and some gum wrappers

Day 26:A photo of somewhere you've been to-

Salt Lake City/Provo...pretty much the only place that i've been...but it's beautiful and is currently home to

a few of my absolute favvvvoooorrrite people!

Day 20

2010-11-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

The meaning behind your blog title...
weeellllll, the title of my blog is Alexa Bryn. My first and middle names. Pretty simple really. In the near future it will be changing to Valle family or something super sweet and new to represent my new adventure, but for now it's just Alexa Bryn....that's me!

day 19

2010-11-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Another picture of yourself...

i love this picture, I love the way he's looking at me, and I loooooooove it all :)

Day 18

2010-11-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

Something you crave a lot:

Cuddling:
(Babe is the BEST cuddler!!)
Kisses
Laughter
chocolate [i'm only human :) ]
pasta
bread
kellog's fiber bars- strange I know
Love...I think that's a universal craving <3

day 17

2010-11-22T11:22:00.002-08:00

A photo of you and your family.

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Day 16

2010-11-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

your celebrity crush....

JT like I said, can't go wrong with Justin!

Day 15

2010-11-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

Something you don't leave your house without...

my phone. without it I feel like I'm missing a limb or something. I know, it's a problem, but not one that I'm planning on changing any time soon :)

Day 14

2010-11-22T11:08:00.000-08:00

A TV show you are currently addicted to....The real question is what show am a NOT addicted to haha. I watch my shows on the compture while I grad papers while I'm at work, sooooo I have time to watch quite a few..here are my favorite favorites:

Lie To Me

Modern Family

Parenthood

grey's anatomy

BONES!

Love love love em alllll.....Don't judge me!

Day 13!

2010-11-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

Your favorite musician and why...
yeah, AS IF I could choose only one!!!

I love mindy. I love the happiness of her music and the message behind it.

Oh dear sweet Michael Buble. I don't think there's much else to say about that haha.

I loooooove me some Lady Antebellum! There songs are amazing, and perrrrfect for me!

Justin will ALWAYS be one of my favorites! Can't complain about his sweet falsetto ever never!

Day 12

2010-11-22T10:41:00.000-08:00

A photo of the town where you live...
i had a hard time finding a photo that captures the town I live in the way I see it....So here's the view from my backyard

Day 11

2010-11-15T09:46:00.000-08:00

What is in your Make-Up bag...

I'm a girl who LOVES make-up, soooo in my bag is:

Mac Prep n Prime (essential)
Colure wet/dry foundation powder
MAC blush in ambering rose
maybeline eyebrow pencil
smashbox lash DNA mascara
pop eyeshadow
eyelash curler
bath and body works lip gloss- cinnamon
and A LOT of other stuff :)

Day 10

2010-11-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

A photo of your favorite place to eat...

see, the problem is that I have a lot of favorite places to eat, it depends on my mood, SO here are a few.

Cake! and good company

2010-11-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

last night I had the privelage of meeting with the wonderful Lourdes Lopez to talk about cake, the wedding, and everything else. I am SO EXCITED to have her make my cake. It will be three flavors, vanilla and strawberry, red velvet, and lemon mousse! The cake itself will be three tiers, separated by columns, with white chocolate shavings on the outside, fresh flowers topping each tier....

something, but not exactly, like this :)

After we were done talking cake, I got to talk to her a little about everything. About Babe (she's known him since he was just a wittle guy), and about how happy she is to be able to see me get married. She is a woman that has been an amazing example to me in my life, and that I have looked up to for a very long time. It meant a lot to me to hear her tell me that she was proud of me, and I am so glad that she will get to be in the temple with me, to witness my sealing. THAT gives me so much unbelievable joy, I could never possibly put it into words.

i'm a day behind, shame on me :)

2010-11-11T12:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so i'm a day behind so here's two days worth for ya...

a song to match my mood...easy peasy, ANY love song lol...but at the moment miss Mindy Gledhill's "I Do Adore" is my favoorrrrite favorite. This is my favorite part... "we're as different as can be, I've noticed you're remarkably relaxed and i'm overly uptight, we balance out eachother nicely. Your wear sandals in the snow, in mid-July I still feel cold, we're opposites in every way, but I can't resist it when you say hello, how are you, my darling, today. I fall into a pile on the floor, puppy love is hard to ignore, when every little thing you do I do, adore!"

a photo of the last item you purchased...

car registration sucks. but...it's the last thing a bought, wonderful, eh?

my dream wedding

2010-11-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

today i'm supposed to write about my dream wedding...

which is nice, because currently, my life is surrounded by EVERYTHING wedding (39DAYS!!)
OF COURSE it begins at the beautiful san diego temple

and then i draw my inspiration from things like this:

i love my life, love, love, love it!

A pet? yes please

2010-11-08T13:01:00.000-08:00

Day 6: An animal you would like to have as a pet

I choose one of these little guys. Yes, I am aware of the fact that they get really big and scary, but I think they are just the cutest things I have ever seen and I have always, in my heart of hearts, wanted one...pretty please?!

dayyyy 5

2010-11-08T12:55:00.001-08:00

A photo of you two years ago...
This is a picture if skinny me and miss Sarah Hall. There was a period of time that I spent almost every waking moment with this girl, and we had some GREAT times. Including that one time we went to the beach and sat in a lifeguard tower talking until 2am. She is currently traveling the globe...I haven't seen her in far too long!! However, I do love her lots and hope she is having the time if her life: )

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day 4

2010-11-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

your favorite picture of your best friend:

Babe is most definitely my BEST FRIEND, aannnnnddddd this is my favorite picture because I can't recall a time when both of us have been as genuinely happy as we are here. I love him with all my heart. He is absolutely my everything. Everything I have ever wished for and so verrrry much more, and I can not even believe that I am the lucky girl that gets to be by his side for the rest of eternity!!

My perfect first date, Engagements, and Punkins ;)

2010-11-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

Day 3: describe your perfect first date...

I am so very very glad that I never have to go on another one of these again, BUT I know that Babe and I will have so many more firsts and I'm so excited for each one of them. My perfect first date, silly as it may have been, was my first date with Babe, almost a year ago. We simply went to Riley and Drew's football game and then went back to my house and watched a movie. That night I got to know him better, I we cuddled for the first time, and shared out first kiss, he was the perfect gentleman and it was absolutely perfect. The End.

P.S. LAST Friday, babe and I took our engagement pictures with the wonderful, beautiful, amazingly talented Jackie Dino. We went down to La Jolla Cove and it was wonderful!! I do believe that we kissed more in that single hour and a half than we have in public in the whole last year haha, but it was absolutely lovely and we have some great pictures to show for it...

After pictures we headed back to escondido, we had a wonderful dinner @ On the Border, and then, after going to two different grocery stores, we went home and carved some pumpkins. It was a splendid evening!

can you tell whose is whose?

daayyy 2

2010-11-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

a picture of something you ate today...

oatmeal from Jamba Juice...it's pretty freaking good, and is a sweet treat without totally blowing my calorie bank for the day, I give it an A+

on the first day...

2010-11-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Day 1- A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

This is me..not today, but me nonetheless :)

Well, so far my day has been pretty flippin good...just working away. had one of my favorite former students stop by for some help, and in a few minutes I will be leaving my office to go to my very first fitting for my dress!!I am, however, terribly missing my Babe...it's strange how not seeing him for one day feels like forever these days. Not THAT strange I suppose, and it isn't just lately, this has been going on for quite some time now haha, I guess its a good thing the wedding isn't too far away.
Also, I am REALLY, REALLY, SUPER EXCITED to go to the temple!! it means some amazing things for me, I feel like I've won the lottery, like my dreams are coming true, I've got an amazing man and he's going to take me to the happiest, most beautiful, closest place to heaven on this earth and he's going to make a promise to be with me for time and all eternity. AND it's real, it's all real. The way I see it, that makes EVERY day a GREAT day!

Thank you, Baby Girl!!

2010-11-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

My Baby Girl, Amber Irene, started this blog challenge on her blog and I think it will be the PERFECT way to keep me occupied and my nerves down while in the midst of wedding planning!!! So again I say, thank you, thank you to that beautiful, wonderful girl :)

30 Day Blog Challenge
Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past.

p.s. purple+green =WEDDING COLORS :)

6 weeks lovers and friends, 6 WEEKS!!

2010-10-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

Due to the events of this last weekend, in exactly SIX WEEKS from tomorrow I will be Mrs. Christian Valle, and I am SO FLIPPIN EXCITED!! i don't even know if I could possibly put my excitement into words! It's almost like I can't believe it sometimes, I get so wrapped up in everything that is going on...but then I look down at my finger and see my beeeaaauuutiful ring ...

and then I remember that it is, infact, a reality. I really am going to marry the most amazing man I've ever known, we really are going to be sealed together forever.

Meanwhile, I spent the first 3 days of this weeking with some new kids. Their names are Louis, Maegan, Nia and Oliver, and we had LOTS of fun. We made carmel popcorn, Halloween sugar cookies, AND got frozen yogurt, and I spent most of my days with Oliver watching Dora, Team Oomie Zoomie, Sponge Bob, and playing trains...It's okay if you're jealous, I would be too :)

I am a Child of God

2010-10-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

This i know for sure...and i LOVE how powerful miss Gladys is when she sings
about out savior, absolutely inspiring!!

Engaged to be MARRIED!!!

2010-10-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

...My Babe says that's the proper term, but no matter how you choose to say it I'M GETTING MARRIED!!
This is how it happened:
Pretty much every time Christian comes over he texts me to let me know that he's here and I get excited and run out to meet him, it started a couple of months ago and it's fun so it stuck. Last night it was the same thing, EXCEPT when i got outside and looked around the corner my car looked like this...
and my wonderful, amazing, handsome man was on one knee! I couldn't stop jumping up and down, he says that it took me exactly three jumps to get down the stairs and over to him, but i think that's a bit of an exaggeration :) maybe not, it's a little hazy, but when I got over to him, he opened the ring box, and asked me to marry him!! I continued to jump up and down in his arms, and when he got a hold of me and I couldn't jump any more I kept kissing him and doing the feet thing, you know what I'm talking about, the happy feet thing, like this little guy...

...eventually he said sooooo was that a yes? and I said, YES, YES, YES, YES!! I couldn't be happier, and it couldn't have been more perfect!! About two minutes after he slipped the ring on my finger Taylor and Kara pulled into the driveway, they sure do have perfect timing!! They were excited and water-eyed just like me. Lucky enough, they even took pictures, cause I was way to caught up in everything to do it myself :) We went to BJ's for dinner (thank you kara!) to celebrate, and you better believe we treated ourselves to a white chocolate macadamia nut pazuki-gotta have a treat sometimes!

AND SO to sum it all up: I AM MARRYING THE MOST AMAZING MAN THAT I KNOW, ON DECEMBER 18TH, 2010 in the SAN DIEGO TEMPLE!!!! I am RIDICULOUSLY excited and I fell so blessed to be able to spend eternity with my best friend!

I Feel My Savior's Love...

2010-09-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

"I feel my savior's love"
-Greg Olsen

The Sisters, Kara, and I got to sing at another baptism on Sunday, but this one was a little different...it was little Austin (Bishop's Grandson) we sang "I Feel My Savior's Love" It's one of my personal favorite songs and with the harmonies and four voices it was power!
Lately I've had a lot of time to think, to reflect, and to figure out what I'm doing in this world, and every so often I find moments when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am right where I am supposed to be. I've had a couple of those moments in the past few days.

Friday night after Babe and I had dinner I had a little bit of a weak/emotional moment [truthfully a few moments] just as and as always, he knew just what to say and do to turn the whole thing into a bonding moment instead of a scene... so THANK YOU, Babe!!
This quote came through in my emails from LDSgems: "Get on your knees and pray as if everything depends on The Lord, then get on your feet and work as if everything depends on you."- Gordon B. Hinkley...that man was truly amazing, and I know that I sincerely needed to read that that particular day :)
This morning when I got to work I logged on to blogger (surprise? not!) and started reading, and while reading cjane I began to cry...this is the part that got me the most..."The procedure was as horrid as the doctor had warned us. It was nothing short of torture. For The Chief and his pain, for us as his parents and the medical staff who had to hold his little body down so he wouldn't thrash out. My gosh. My heavens. I don't think I have the ability to describe the anguish. My poor Chup was wiping away sweat and tears to keep from dripping on his son's head he was holding. The intensity of it all was reminiscent of Ever's birth which was helpful to me in a way, it reassured me that after great pain comes great relief. But in the middle--like that birth--I proclaimed "I'd never do this again."

Even though, I know it was necessary.

I couldn't help but think about Piper Jane, and Davy and many other brave children I have met and their mommies and daddies who, regularly have to hold their children down to help them endure pain. I thought about my mother watching my sister Stephanie suffer. My goodness. My gracious. I wish this world didn't even know that concept. I wish it didn't exist.

And I thought about being a Christian, how our core belief is that Jesus Christ suffered for humanity--an unthinkable amount. And I thought about how our Heavenly Father had to allow for his son to go through that. And I got a glimpse of understanding the magnitude of it all when in his screaming I couldn't do anything about it. And then, when it was over, my son reached out, wailing "Mommy!" and I picked him up and held him so tight I couldn't breathe. He was sweaty and shaky and sticky from the interrupted sucker. And boy did I pray my heart out in gratitude for his health, for the chance I have to be his security, for Jesus Christ.

I am a believer."

I also am a believer, This I know for sure!

The end of last week (aka Weekend) and the beginning of this one...

2010-09-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

Thursday I took a trip to the Blood Bank. Normal, I do it every 8 weeks, and I don't usually have any problems what so ever...this time, a little different...

I was only able to give about half what they needed and what I usually give
AND got a super sweet bruise to go with it

Friday night Babe and I stayed home and cooked dinner, Hawaiian haystacks, not the best one's i've ever had, but it was nice that we were able to do it together. Saturday night Taylor convinced us (after calling us some nice names ha ) to go out with everyone to this little place downtown called "Lucha Libre." I drove with Christian, Kara, and Taylor, and finding it was a serious adventure...but the drive was half the fun, I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time, but the food was good, and the atmosphere was just wonderful!

Have I mentioned before that I love Babe with all my heart? He's just the greatest thing that has ever/will ever happen to me, just thought you should know, and I don't even really care if I say it too often it MUST be shared...

Thanks to Babe as of Monday night I have a new best friend...

my Bodybugg!!

this little guy with me 23/7 (every moment except in the shower) and is going to help me reach my weight-loss and fitness goals by January 28th :) it tells me how many calories I've burned, and I enter what I eat. I think this is the start of a wonderful relationship!

Take me out to the ball game

2010-09-07T15:15:00.000-07:00

Last night Babe and I had a fun little date night :)
We went to PF Changs for dinner and then headed to the ball park for the Padres game !

tons of fun, and I couldn't have had better company!

Where did my summer go?!

2010-09-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

the loooove of my life, at a going away party for the RVMC boys :)

School started again last week...that means a few things

My Boys are gone-yep, not just 1 or 2, this time Utah has stolen them all. I'm sad, but at the same time SO happy for them to be able to start this new part of their lives...hey, at least this time when they left me they've got phones :)
I have a lot lees time to spend with Babe, he's a full-time student and a personal trainer, which means he's got lots of things to do, he still manages to spend time with me, even if it means he has to wake up at 6am to get to the gym and train me on top of all his other responsibilities, he does it...I think he likes me a little bit, eh?
Amber's about to go back to school too....hmmmm, which leads me to number 4...
I need to find myself a hobby, or throw myself into my callings, or idk, but something, at the moment I have way too much free time!
One more thing....

I'm back on the HCG bizzzzness
It's been good to me so far, down 11lbs
before I take that next big "step" (if you know what I mean) I'd like to be more liiiike -45
I've got quite a few more to loose, but I can do it
you know, look more like this:

For now, I'm just ridiculously happy to be at the point in my life that I am at, not ALWAYS perfect, but beautiful nonetheless :)

Pictures of people taking pictures...

2010-08-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

okay, so maybe just a lyrics from Jack Johnson and some pictures that i've taken over the last little bit while i've been seriously slackin on blogging...most of them courtesy of my lovely mytouch :)

(Casey and Joy had a BEAUTIFUL reception)

(Mckaylla...Logan...Logan and Isaac...and the Birthday boy himself...haha)

more details and pictures later <3

a love like this is hard to find

2010-07-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

so, incase you haven't caught it in any of my past posts, i'm completely and totally in love with this man...

He makes my heart flutter when he walks into the room, EVERY time...as corny as it sounds it's true, and he truly just gets better and better with time. The other day he said the sweetest thing that I will never, ever, forget. We were standing in the kitchen and he grabbed my head and told me not to move,(I was wearing a wide headband). I asked why and he said "from this angle you look like you don't have any hair..."being the curious girl that I am, I asked "what if i got really sick, and lost all my hair" and then, in a way that only he can, he said "then I wouldn't have any hair either." and then I was immediately reminded of the rascal flatts song, "skin," and at that moment I realized even more that this man is mine, he is wonderful in every possible way, and a love like this...it's one in a million, and I would do anything to keep it forever. FOREVER.

Rain in july?! UGH

2010-07-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's raining here in San Marcos,July is supposed to be a sunny, beachy, magical month,this is crazy!! It hasn't been ~~any~~ of those things.Scratch that, it's been pretty magical...Tuesday night I went home and had dinner and a bonfire with Pops, Sharon, and Laney (aka Booger) it was just d-light-ful! We had steak, and corn, and pasta salad, and then we made s'mores and sharon made some pudding/banana/nilla wafer goodness. We all sat around the fire and had a goood little chat about life and love, and getting on with my life, IF you know what I mean. Then as everyone drifted inside I stayed out by the warmth of the fire with our wonderful view of the city and read my scriptures ever so conveniently on my phone. After a while my wonderful man came back from the temple and joined me.

Yesterday I got to work really early, idk why but it was nice. I got a lot done, and in the middle of it all was lucky enough to go to lunch with the beautiful Carli Jae!! I've been having lots of good talks about life lately, and our chat at lunch was no exception, she is such an awesome lady, and I am so lucky to have her in my life. After work I got to go to the gym with Babe, and got my butt kicked, as usual, but today we did our workout (circut training) and THEN another class, I was pretty tired, but I am finally to a point where I love that tired feeling. It makes me feel strong and empowered. From there I showered and went to practice Aubry's make-up for the wedding next week, we got fro-yo and I got to see her new apartment...and then the part of my day that I had been waiting for, Babe came over when I got home! I had the worst headache, and being the amazing man of my dreams that he is, we talked for a little bit cuddled on the couch, and then he just held me while I slept for a little bit. He makes me feel like the most beautiful and special girl in the world, he is gentle and sweet, but also strong and confident, we've come to a place in our relationship where everything just feels right, unbelievably right, and I know that this feeling won't go away. Life is beautiful and as corny as it may sound, I am so, so, so blessed!

Life, Liberty, and the PURSUIT of Happiness

2010-07-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about all of that often lately (Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness) especially it being the fourth of july!

LIFE: In what seems to be a string of bad luck, or just some HORRIBLE joke, my passenger side door window in my car got broken into AGAIN! it's the third time, seriously people!!! there is NO money in there, haha, buuuut such is life, and I had to purchase a new one on my lovely holiday. Lucky enough I have an absolutely amazing boyfriend who was able to install it for me and save me the extra $85, he's just the best, and as if I wasn't already grateful enough, it started to rain on my way to work today, and having a window was very much appreciated!

LIBERTY: We had an interesting testimony meeting, well, aren't they always? But there were a few that were especially noteworthy and really made me think, The hands of our founding fathers were truly guided by our Father in Heaven when they wrote the Declartaion of Independence and the Constitution, and only under those circumstances could the church have been restored, there is no other country in the world that it would have been able to happen in, and for that I am truly grateful. I am also grateful for the people who risk their lives everyday fighting to assure that those freedoms are not taken away from us, as well as their families. I often ponder how hard it must be to be a military wife/mother, I could not imagine the worry and stress that they must feel in knowing that their loved one may not return, or not being able to know the full details of thier jobs or even their locations, I truly am proud to be an american, to live in this beautiful country in this exciting time and enjoy the freedoms that I have been given...Let Freedom Ring!! I was also so excited that I got to sit with Babe's family during the fireworks, they are great people, and that nephew and niece of his are absolutely the cutest things I have ever seen!! I hope I get to spend lots more time with them real soon!

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS:I got to teach a lesson to the wonderful girls in our ward last week on President Uchtdorf's talk "Continue in Patience," AND We also had an awesome lesson in Relief Society on Happiness this week based off of the same talk [(see more on both here :)]! It is amazing to me how we always hear just what we need to during lessons, and how we are usually assigned to teach things right in the moment when we can do the most learning from them. I know for sure that that was the case with that lesson, I know I am in desperate need of more patience at the moment and much, much more trust in the Lord's timing. I know deep down in my heart that the blessings I have been promised will come true as long as I am doing everything that I am supposed to. I don't need to worry so much about when, but focus more on what I can do now to make sure that I am prepared for them when they do happen. I am grateful, SO grateful for the amazing people I have all around me, I love Babe, he keeps my heart happy, safe, and strong and builds me up and helps me to become the woman I want to be little by little everyday. I know that the church is true, and I am grateful for its leaders as they provide guidance for us in these latter days. My life, though not always perfect, is beautiful, and I am happy, truly, undeniably happy.

late night musings

2010-07-02T00:57:00.001-07:00

Oh goodness! This roller coaster gets more interesting every day. Sometimes are harder than others, I know what I need to do, now if I could only figure out how to make it happen things would be just dandy...ha, ill keep you posted on how it all plays out ; )

My New Life, Tapping Moments, and Lovee

2010-06-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

I have so much to catch up on writing here, I had no idea where I could possibly begin to express how amazingly blessed I am...So I thought I would start with this video, and see where it takes me. Stephanie Neilson's story is one of the most inspiring I have ever heard. I admire her so much. When I grow up I want to be her. I admire her faith, her drive,and the love for her children and her husband that is so overwhelming that you can feel it as you read the things she writes and listen to her speak. She is the kind of wife, mother, and woman that I hope to be. At one point in this amazing video she says "There are moments in my life where I feel like my spirit is tapping my heart to remind me just why I still mortally exist." I haven't been through anything as trying as Stephanie, but I do believe that Heavenly Father won't give us more than we can handle, and even in the times when I feel like I have taken all that I can take, those tapping moments are there, pushing me to remember that I am a daughter of my Father in Heaven, and I have things to accomplish here on earth. I have had a lot of those moments in this last little while, here are just a few...
-recieving my patriarcal blessing
-watching Rachael dance again
-long, comforting, sweet talks with Babe
-my trip with the boys, seeing Eric and Hannah and feeling the pure joy that radiated from them at their reception, sharing what will probably be my last dance with Gerber, and getting to catch up with the girls
-staying with my sweet Ashley, and knowing that she will always be my other little sister
-talking with Shell bell and being comfortable no matter how much time has passed
-having Mike call and tell me that the only reason he was crying during his self defense lesson was because he was thinking of Me and Eberly, knowing that he really does love and care about me and the boys, his "other" children
-helping Delaney with her super-sized iPhone
-the Saturday I got to spend with sweet little Logan
-being with Riana when she got her award at school
-getting to be at Casey and Joy's reception, catching the boquet
-Little Katie making me promise to come see her more often
-having the chance to speak to the graduating Laurels at their fireside
-being asked to sing at Shelly's baptism
-having my Kara cousin working two doors down when I needed her most
There are so many, many things that I have been blessed with. I know I have a purpose, I know that I can not wait for the rest of my life, and I am excited to see what each day holds for me...it sure is an interesting journey, this life, and I want to do all that I can in the time that I have been given.

What Heaven Sees in You

2010-03-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

     Yesterday in my step-aerobics class as we were stretching at the end, my instructor decided to take a minute to talk to us about how we see ourselves, about being confident no matter our size or shape...She told us about a lady she met at a party. This particular woman was a very large Hawaiian woman, and all my teacher could think about when she first saw her was how big she was...until she got on stage and began to speak and sing, and then all she could think about was how beautiful this woman was. She told us that no matter what if we are confident and comfortable with who we are, and we show that to other people, they will see that too. I couldn't help but think of that in terms of how Heavenly Father sees us. Over the last, wow, almost a year, I've been working with Dr. V to be able to do a few things, and one of the big ones is see myself through the eyes of my Father in Heaven, to not allow the cunning words of the advesary keep me from feeling good about myself, to not let him keep me from being comfortable with who I am. I have finally gotten to the point that I am able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy, well, be content, to know that regardless of how much weight I do or do not loose, Heavenly Father loves me the way that I am, afterall, he made me this way. Don't get me wrong, I want and plan to loose at least a few lbs before some more significant moments of my life, but I love myself, every last ounce.
     I remember that more when I remember that I really am his daughter, there's a quote from Jeffrey R. Holland that I LOVE he talks about how of all the titles God could have chosen, FATHER is the one that he claims, we, his children are his greatest joy, accomplishment, as well as his greatest sorrow. I want to be one of his joys, I want him to be proud of me, I want to exemplify at all times the fact that I am HIS daughter, and I never want to bring him sorrow. However, I know that those times are all but inevitable, that there are, have been, and will continue to be times when I disappoint him, times when I doubt my divine nature because of the things that are pounded into my brain through the craftiness of the adversary, but I also know that he loves me SO MUCH that he sent his son, his son to die for me, so that I could return to live with him someday, so that I wouldn't have to suffer for those things on my own. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
     I absolutely know that, and I know that that alone has brought me more confidence and comfort in my own skin that loosing 50 pounds ever could. I know that that confidence has placed right in the way of some amazing people, and that those people are making my journey through this life more enjoyable each and everyday, and I know that it will only get more interesting along the way :)

It's about time...

2010-03-12T11:53:00.000-08:00

     So far i've only been writing about once a month, which puts me way behind with much too much to write about when i do, and even though no one REALLY reads this, it'll be nice for me if i write more often...
     That being said, this last month has been busy, and tons of fun...I turned 22 on the 15th of february :) it was a monday and a holiday and Babe and I spent the day down in La Jolla. We got lunch at California Pizza Kitchen and then walked around the cove and talked, we're good talkers. He makes me feel like I can do anything, and when he looks at me I know he loves me, and I know that everything that has happened before has brought me to him, and for that I am grateful beyond words.
     I've been babysitting on and off (trying to pay off the $600 it's going to take to pay them for the tires I popped with a quickness so they can start giving ME money again!)...the kids are getting better, well i guess it's my understanding of the kids that is getting better, we are able to work together now and i've got their routine down to a science.
     My little Parli-Pro team messed up BIG at the Escondido Invitational, I meet with them every Monday and Wednesday, but they do VERY little outside of our meetings, hence the huge mistakes and severe inability to answer any of their oral questions. I just don't understand why they don't want to win....we ate, slept, and breathed parli-pro, we practiced on breaks and weekends, and even had sleepovers for heaven's sake! I just hope to get them in shape for section and *crossing my fingers* region and state, it would be SO fun to go back there!
     I've also been more and more involved in the ward and I love every minute of it. I'm a ward missionary, and I was first councelor on the FHE committee, but this Sunday I will be released from that and be sustained as the Secretarty in the Relief Society Presidency...I've been doing a lot better at reading and really studying my scriptures, granted, I'm still behind Bishop's schedule, I just finished Alma and should finish Helaman this weekend, and I love the peace that they bring to my life. My testimony of prayer has also grown trememdously. I've been doing less hanging out with everyone, not that I don't want to be around people, or that I don't miss my friends, but it's given me the chance and opportunity to grow closer to my father in heaven, I've found that especially when I feel like I don't want to pray, those are the times when I need to most, and when I take those times and do what I know I need to be doing, those are the moments when I literally feel like I'm being wraped up in his arms, they are the moments when the veil becomes thinner and I can feel the love My Father in Heaven has for me. I absolutely LOVE being able to be thinking about the spiritual things constantly and to have the opportunity to serve the people in my ward. I love feeling closer to the Spirit everyday and being able to stand strong in the things I believe.

Ten Elephants, To Infinity, and the BEST Week Ever...

2010-02-02T12:20:00.000-08:00

-:TEN ELEPHANTS:-
This last month has been filled with a lot of wonderful, exciting and scary experiences, so this post will get pretty long, but it's catch up time, and then I promise to be a more consistent writer...

     The beginning of January brought two things, meeting Babe's family, and his 22nd birthday :) I was all but terrified to meet his mom and sister the day before his birthday, he's the baby and i don't want them to feel like I'm trying to take him away from them. But i went and it was nice, they are great people, obviously, and I hope that as they get to know me better they think the same of me. The next day (Monday the 11th) was his birthday, I took him out for lunch at Love Boat Sushi...we had a lot of fun and a really good talk about how we feel about eachother, it just seems to get better and more perfect everyday...Later that night I met him and his family for dinner at a buffet in San Marcos, and met his brother also...I really look forward to spending more time with all of them. His brother and sister are funny and his neice and nephew are absolutely precious!! The next night my dad took us (Ashy, Nolan, Delaney, Sharon, Dad, Babe, and I)out to Ruth's Chris for dinner ( we did a lot of eating for this birthday haha) we all dressed up nice and dinner was AMAZING!
     The following weekend I got to drive with Ashlynd up to L.A. to meet the Thallons, a family she was close with in Australia. The drive up was full of music of all kinds, turned up as loud as it could go, and lots of laughs...That night I dropped her off at their hotel near LAX and went up to Kayleigh and Allie's in Northridge. As I exited the 405 on Nordoff there was an older man standing at the light in the pouring rain. Under any other circumstances I probably would have just kept driving, but the timing was just right, I was listening to Hilary Weeks, and was quiet enough to remember a story my grandpa told at Christmas time about a similar situation, and to feel the prompting that I needed to turn around.I only had $40 in cash, and all I was hesitant because all I could give him was a 20, but I knew I needed to do it, as I gave it to him I began to cry, the spirit as I sat alone in my car was strong, and I said a prayer aloud as I drove that my small sacrifice would in someway benefit that man...
     It was so nice to be able to see and talk with my girls about everything that is going on in our lives and to know that time and distance doesn't take away that bond that we have...I left early in the morning and was at the Sheraton at LAX by 7, even in Hollywood traffic. The family is hilarious and so loving and fun to be around, I know now why it was so hard for her to leave, and why she loved it there so much, They loved her so very much, and were so welcoming to me as well. We took the shuttle to the airport with them, stayed until they hit security and then got Denny's for breakfast and headed back home. I really enjoyed spending that time with Ash. I look up to her in so many ways, she is my goofy, yet serious, emotional, yet strong, spiritual, best friend and sister, and I love her SO very much!!
I mostly split my time between nannying, work, and seeing the boy. I try to sleep and see everyone else as much as possible as well. I love Danielle, she and i were destined to be best friends, we say the same things at the same times, and think a lot of the same thoughts wether we say them out loud or not, haha...she makes me happy, we've had some good times and good talks recently...

~:TO INFINITY, okay, maybe just Utah:~

Last Friday we left for Utah... we being Gerber, Babe, and I. We left Escondido at exactly 6:05 am, and got to Provo around 5:15pm Utah time, which is actually amazing timing! The drive was fun, how could it not be with two of my absolute favorite people in the whole world in car with me?! We were in vegas by 10:15, and made it to in-n-out in time to be the 13th, 14th, and 15th coustomers of the day, and saw the funniest tagging on the side of an aluminim walled building in the middle of the desert, it said "The CROOKEST SHERRIFF DEPARTMENT IN THE USA"...just like that, hmmm, really? haha.

Seriously, ~~I don't think I could have been happier~~, scratch that, I KNOW I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN HAPPIER!! The rest of the drive went well, no weather like we were worried about either. Our first stop in Provo was to the boy's apartment...i was SO excited to see them!! Then Collin left for a date, and Kyle headed off with us to Taylor's house where I put myself together for her "party." I've never been a huge fan of social gatherings like that, especially ones where I only know like 4 people, and the rest of them don't seem to be interested in talking, SO we did our social duty and stayed for a little while, and then went to Sub Zero Ice Cream, [which I thought was sent from heaven :)] and then to the boy's apartment to watch a movie....I headed back to Orem and Taylor's late that night and then went in the morning to hang out with the boys til lunch with Tay and a few of her Friends. Theeeeennnn I picked Col, Kylie, and Gerber back up and we went to visit Michelle and Logan at their home. We watched a little bit of the Sandlot and got to talk for a little while which was wonderful, I wish I could have talked to here more one on one, but it was still nice to see her and know she is well, I miss her so very much!!

From there Babe and I dropped the others off so that they could go to the BYU basketball game and Humor-U and we headed out to the Provo Temple. There we sat on a bench, looking up at the Temple and the snowy mountains (breath taking is a word that comes to mind) and had an amazing talk, and when we were almost frozen, walked back to the car and talked some more...We got a lot out, and our understanding of eachother grew tremendously.

From the temple we decided to see a movie, Provo is great for cheap things to do, so we went to the dollar theater and saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was funny and we just enjoyed eachother's company. By the time the movie was over it was starting to snow, so being paranoid like I am, we hurried to Taylor's and ended up falling asleep. After a little while I took him back to Provo, just to pick him back up as soon as I was ready in the morning while the others went to church and we attempted to pack some of taylor's things...Once she was done with church she and her friends Steph and Krista finished jamming everything in my car, we had Collin pray for us in Japanese, and we were on the road again...Another fun drive, mostly cramped in the back of the car, but hey, I didn't really mind :) Ashlynd called on our way home though, and it was really nice to talk to her, she told me about how she was listening to our favorite song (Somewhere Beyond the Moon) and had to sing BOTH parts, and I missed her even more, I was excited to get back and see her! We hit major traffic for about an hour and a half outside vegas, and after some seriously silly moments {mainly a wacked out girl at in-n-out in Barstow, and Chocolate kisses melting all over the front of Babe's pants}we made it home around 11:30 pm.

[_AND THE BEST WEEK EVER_]

Kara told me this morning that one of the kids that just graduated escondido summit got shot last night, not a great thing to find out first thing in the morning...A lot of the time when i find out things like this it makes me take stock of my own life. I've had such amazing opportunities lately and I am so unbelievably grateful for all of my blessings.I absolutely love and adore the kids that i get to work with, I don't get it though, when will they learn, what's it going to take?! And it's not just them, it's their environments, and their families...everyone deserves love, consistency, meaningful connections, and encouragement... I honestly believe that everything comes back to the love of our savior, and the amazing light his gospel brings to our lives. Babe was telling me last night that he wants this week to be the best week ever, and how he's going to make sure he's reading and praying and doing everything right so that he can make that happen, and asked me if I would do that with him. It's moments like that when everything makes sense, when i realize why nothing has ever worked out before and why everything is falling to place now. He's helping me be closer to everything that I know is right and good, and closer to the person I know that I can be, the one that Heavenly Father sees in me. He's everything I've ever wanted and even a few things I never thought I needed before...I have never felt more secure in who I am or where I'm going or been more excited and ready for the future!

and the good times just keep on coming :)

2010-01-06T10:31:00.000-08:00

This holiday season was filled with lots of wonderful things, and since i suck @ life (aka updating this thing) here a few photos to document a few of my life's little joys...
1...

my booooyyysss were all home(and drew tagged a long often), and it was a great privelage to have them all around me :) they make me so very happy, it brings such joy to my heart to know that we've all stuck together for all these years and will always be there for eachother, it makes life a lot easier to know that they know me and love me and will always be there for me.Danielle makes me happy too :)

2...

these love birds, enough said.
3...

These two are my best friends, they've brought me more joy and comfort than i ever thought i could possibly have, lately i feel like things are just so wonderful i could pop. I keep waiting for something to go wrong, but it doesn't. I've got my friends, my family, and more faith in the Lord and in Heavenly Father's plan for me than i've ever had before, and I am by far the happiest I've ever been. I know it's not always going to be rainbows and sunshine, but I have an amazing group of people behind me and this wonderful man at my side

I know where i'm going, that BIG goal that we all have, I'm going to reach it, and i'm excited for the journey that lies ahead.

Oh, Happy Day!

2009-12-17T12:27:00.003-08:00

P1010240
Originally uploaded by lexiebryn215

Yeah, that's my boyfriend. He's sweet and funny, and pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me. He makes me smile more than i can ever remember smiling before, and i can't even help it. He says the cutest things and sometimes i really can't believe that he's with ME! He' s got a good head on his shoulders, and a strong testimony of the Savior and the Gospel. I think i'll be keeping him for a while...

My Daddy.

2009-12-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

In light of recent occurrences in my life, my dear old d-a-d-d-y posted this on his facebook status the other day...

Jimmy Wilson Is proud of my oldest......... Heroes come in small packages....... Do you remember when?

I love my dad, i love that i know that no matter what i'm going through, no matter how much we may not have gotten along at one point or another, he's my daddy, i'm his little girl, he loves me, and he always ends everything he says to me with "do you remember when?" it's his favorite story to tell, he says "lexa, do you remember when you were a little girl and i used to hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep..." and while i don't remember, i do. I remember that that means i love you, that that means i will always be here and take care of you when you need me and that you can always be safe here...There are a couple songs that always remind me of this...(1) Hurry Home- Jason Michael Carrol and (2) In My Arms- Mark Wills.

It doesn't matter what you've done I still love you

It doesn't matter where you've been you can still come home

And honey if it's you we've got a lot of making up to do

And I can't hug you on the phone, so hurry home

Three a.m. on the clock

Lullaby, music box

Oh, baby please don't cry

Let's let mama sleep tonight

You've only been home one day

You don't even know your name

Tiny hand on my cheek

You're a miracle to me

In the stillness of the night

Cradled in this rocking chair

I hold all my hopes and dreams,

Every single answered prayer

In my arms

Wish I could hold you forever

In my arms

I will give you shelter

Still I know I can't always be there

To protect you from this great big old world

But I swear this much is true

There'll always be a place for you...in my arms

As I watch you take each breath

Oh, it scares me to death

To know you're counting on me

To be the daddy that you need

Wounded knees, broken hearts

Learning how to drive a car

When it's time for your first date

Will I know just what to say

And when you find that one true love

I'll put on my best smile

And I'll try to hide my tears

As I walk you down the aisle

Oh, this promise I will keep

As you finally fall asleep...in my arms

I love you, pops. thank you for always being there for me to come home to.

Finally.

2009-12-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

This last week has really been one for the books. I've been strong in doing things i never thought i could do, and i'm not looking back. Thanksgiving was beautiful, we played football in the morning, and then had dinner at Emily's house in Temecula. The family was there, and as always, it was absolutley wonderful. The little girls sang us songs from wicked, and aunt Deanna brought some old cards and letters from the cedar chest, and then we made grandma and grandpa sing to us. They sat together and sang "have i told you lately that i love you" in perfect harmony. Katie, and Taylor recorded it on their cameras, and we shared a few good tears of happiness. If there's one thing that i know in my life it's that when i do find that someone, i want a relationship and a love like my grandma and grandpa, they inspire me everyday to know that love is alive and well, we've just got to hold out for it. That night we went to see the blind side (the 2nd time for me) with my siblings, Kara, Mandy and Erin Jones, Angenelle, and Christian. It was just as good as the first time i saw it. Friday was a day of relaxation, which was really nice. Just hung out around the house with my brother and sisters (i miss Taylor when she's away, the house has a whole lot more life when she is home), and then we went to the football game. It has been so fun to watch Drew and Riley play this year, and if this was their last game, dang it, i was gonna be there! After the game i watched Land of the Lost with Noly, Laney, and Christian. Then had a beautiful talk with my Amber girl before we fell asleep.
Saturday morning i was up bright and early, I couldn't sleep! Dad and Sharon made breakfast and then i got ready and met Kayleigh, Rachael, and Amelia at Starbucks. It's been years, literally, since we've all been together and it was nice to get to be with them again.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

Those girls still know me, and care just as much as they always have no matter what may happen.From there I went and watched the BYU vs. Utah game and hung out and talked to Garrett, i miss him greatly when i don't get to talk to him for too long, and he's the best when it comes to helping me figure out everything that is going on in my head.
     :Sunday, Church, Choir practice, WALL-E, danielle, tyler, christian
     :Monday,helped watch the Proffit's kids, who i love more than life. SO excited to have them living in san marcos!! Maddie came home!! my little ray of sunshine came home from utah, and i got to see and talk to her before fhe, and then she showed me an amazing song (beautiful- bethany dillon, listen to it and LOVE). i'm thankful for that girl, she keeps me sane and laughing through all of our craziness!
     :Tuesday, school was not fun at all, Thanksgiving break killed me, let's just get through the next two and a half weeks quickly please, i can't wait for winter break and christmas!! After School I went home, had dinner, and then we went to Delaney's volleyball game which is always interesting, but last night they actually won a game! it was awesome...and then i came home and had an amazing talk with an amazing person who never fails to bring a smile to my face. It really is amazing how other people can just make you see things in such a different light.
     Things have never been better. In fact, Garrett told me yesterday in the car that he hasn't seen me this happy since he left (that means pre-mission, that means 3 years!), which makes me even happier. I finally decided to take control of the things that were weighing heavy on my heart. Finally let go of the places, thoughts, feelings, and people that kept me running back, that kept me afraid. In emptying holes in my life that have been filled with the wrong things and filling them back up with confidence in myself, faith in my heavenly father, and the atonement of jesus christ, i've been able to feel full for the first time in those three years that garbear was talking about. I'm back to walking in the light and it feels good...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I've always loved that quote, i think i've been afraid of my potential, of not living up to it, but you know what? I'm not afraid, and i want to be the best daughter of heavenly father i can be. I read in a Sheri Dew book once about how we've all fought this fight against the adversary once, when he was RIGHT in front of us, she says, and we "DIDN'T FLINCH" There is NO reason why we cant do it again! I've been given strength and blessed already. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy, but the things that i thought were going to be the hardest, ended up being the ones that felt so right, and that i was so ready to just do, and move on from. I find it amazing how quickly Heavenly Father blesses us when we do the things he wants us to be doing. I am slowly but surely finding myself in the place i want to be in, and having a blast along the way!

Count Your Blessings...

2009-11-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity, along with my beautiful Amber friend, to teach the lesson at FHE on monday night. I was nervous, but i think it went well. We talked about being thankful for the Atonement. As we read stories and quotes, dear sweet Christian did push-ups so that everyone could have (or not have) a cookie, and Ashlynd and I sang "Oh Lord, My Redeemer." Everything else aside, i had the chance to do a little more studying and the spirit warmed my soul.
As this year winds down and i look back on what has happened, i find myself in a place of awe. I have made what I believe to be a 180 degree turn this year, My life is more blessed than i could possibly put into words. Even when I've believed that things aren't happening how i want them to, Heavenly Father has had bigger plans for me than i have for myself, and i am so grateful for his unconditional love and guidance I can not find the words to explain it. So Here's my list of things I'm thankful for this Holiday season:

My Family: we fight, we don't get a long sometimes, but all in all they have shaped me into the person that i am, i love to laugh and sing with them, to be there when they need someone to cry with or to be excited with, and i know in my heart that that is the only thing that is going to matter when this life is over. I have been blessed also with an extended family that is close, who truly love eachother, together forever. kia kaha.
My Friends: when it comes to friends I'm 150% sure that you won't find a luckier girl in the world. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I've got one's that have stuck by me through every possible circumstance (tyler, garrett, collin, kyle,amber) and new ones who bring joy to my heart (maddie, danielle,christian).
Church
the scriptures
prayer
Bishop
My Job: i work with people who make me smile (Rhonda, Dolly, and Pam), coming to work isn't a chore, it's something that i like to do.
laughing
the capacity to love
a home
education
my mind
agency
freedom: never to be taken for granted
The atonement of Jesus Christ

I could go on forever, i know that i am blessed beyond my comprehension, and I owe it all to my Father in Heaven.